Happy New Year – and have sexy fun with your resolutions!

This is what comes of idly surfing the internet. Various sources offer ideas for New Year resolutions.

The Times of India suggests:

1. Vow to devote ‘more time’ to the act.
2. Promise to ‘experiment’ – Fulani comments: the original suggests ‘you might just discover an all new moan zone in your partner’s body’. Well, yes. On the other hand, if you arrive home and your partner has all the power tools out, be suspicious.
3. Pledge to revisit your sensual side – Fulani comments: they mention perfumed body oils, scented candles, satin sheets, and silk scarves. Well, you can’t be using the cuffs, chains, whips and gags all the time – you should surprise your partner occasionally!
4. Vow to become a ‘touchy-feely’ couple
5. Speak up if you are not liking something – Fulani comments: remember ‘ouch’ is not a safeword.
6. Also speak-up if it is working for you
7. You’ll try to keep kids out of your bedroom – Fulani comments: remember the article was published in a country where overcrowding is a common problem!
8. At times even ‘no-mood’ sex will be welcomed
9. Vow to lose control and break the routine!
10. Go liberal with contraceptive methods – Fulani comments: remember this comes from a country where having children is often considered a good thing…

Ask Men suggests:

1. Be more spontaneous – Fulani comments: ‘Erm, be spontaneous – now! And make sure you’re properly prepared for your sponteneity!’
2. Try new positions
3. Try new locations
4. Talk more sex
5. Get kinkier

The FoxSexExpert at Fox News suggests 17 resolutions. OKay, we’ve cheated because these were for 2010. But 17 resolutions? Who has that many?

1. Let the spirit move you — sexually speaking.
2. Set up your own sex program.
3. Engage in all sorts of erotic talk.
4. Do something you would never do in the sack.
5. Have sex in every room. Fulani comments – we think they meant in your own house. But why not be creative?
6. Ask for what you want.
7. Have more sex.
8. Cultivate your sexual connection.
9. Become “sex positive.”
10. Learn a new trick.
11. Go on more dates.
12. Become “that” couple. Fulani comments – altermatively, become “that” threesome, or whatever combination moves you…
13. Take a sex workshop.
14. Move on.
15. Get in tune with your sexual self.
16. Fight for your sexual rights – or another’s. Fulani comments – seriously, though, sexual rights are still major issues in many parts of the world and there are still big human rights battles to be fought in many countries…
17. Enjoy your efforts!

Finally, Betty Confidential has only four resolutions but they’re good, practical, down-to-earth ones. Since we have a friend who works in a gay sexual health project, we think number 2 is particularly important for everyone…

1. Take Charge of Your Sexual Pleasure

2. Take Charge of Your Sexual Health

3. Take Charge of Your Relationships

4. After Your Mistakes, Do Something


Whatever sexy resolutions you make, have fun and enjoy 2011! And let us know what resolutions you made…

V&F

Practical Books For Erotic and BDSM Play

Hello again everyone. As you know, we both write erotica. But we read lots, too. There was a time when we were new to the fetish scene, and of course at one time we were all new to sex. It got me thinking. As we have a number of books that might help the beginner or just be interesting for those who haven’t come across them I thought I’d give you our personal list of helpful, practical and interesting books on the subjects of sex and fetish.

All the links take you through to Amazon, where all these titles are currently in stock either new or second-hand. Happy reading for 2011. Don’t forget if it’s novels you’re after Fulani’s Secret Circus of Pain and Degradation is on sale now, as are his short stories here

We wish you a wonderful, sensual 2011. May all your fantasies be good ones and may the best ones happen for you! Before I go, do you have any suggestions we could add to the list? To comment, go to the top right hand side of this page and click on the speech icon

Velvet Tripp and Fulani

The Quasar Club (Part II) – erotic paranormal short story

For Part I of this story, look at the previous post…

Courtesy of Jon Wilson

Courtesy of Jon Wilson

Charlotte came to slowly, wondering for a moment where she was, trying to remember to breathe. One hand rested on brickwork, the other on the edge of a dumpster. Her legs were weak and she let herself sink to the concrete of the alley. She felt hollowed out. At some point, it had started to drizzle. Her hair and clothes were wet. Twenty yards away, car lights on the road winked in the water-streaked darkness. When she looked down, raindrops on her jacket sparked like tiny white and orange stars in the reflected light. When she looked up, a tall figure stood at the entrance to the alley, silhouetted against the car headlights. He seemed to wave, and shimmered into nothingness. She couldn’t be sure if he’d just turned the corner, or evaporated into thin air. Or if her perception of a figure was a trick of the light.

Making her legs co-operate, Charlotte made it back to her car. She sat in the driver’s seat, consciously breathing deeply the way she’d always had to after sex with Ben. One finger confirmed her thong was soaked through. And it encountered something else, something circular and metallic, pressed between the material and the folds of her skin. Incredulous, she took it from its hiding-place and held it for inspection. There was enough light for her to see exactly what it was. A small metal ring. The kind with a tiny ball on it, for a piercing. The kind that would be used for a Prince Albert. She put it in her purse.

When her heart stopped pounding, she laughed out loud. It came out as a mad cackle of incomprehension, but also relief. Whatever she’d just experienced —and she had no way to explain it to herself—it wasn’t her that had gone crazy. It was the universe.

Pulling her mobile from her handbag, she called the office. They stayed open until eight, someone would still be there.

Ringtone. Debbie picked up.

“Debbie? It’s Charlie … I’m still at the old bar. He was fine, no need to worry. He’ll let us know … I got caught in a shower locking up, I’m wet through … I’ll go straight home and dry off … OK, see you tomorrow.”

At home, Charlie stripped and showered, sat in her bathrobe in the middle of the living room floor. For a long time she was lost in thought. Then the thought that burned in her brain went to nova. She dug in the back of her wardrobe. Leather trousers, skimpy leather waistcoat. Still there, glove-tight and sexy as ever. Nothing underneath. She liked the feel of the leather against her skin. The boots were under the bed but she’d have to practice walking in them again. On her way downstairs she passed the bathroom again. Ben’s Chinese neck-thong was still there on the windowsill. She picked it up and put it on.

In the living room again, she opened cupboards and pulled out the laptop, leads, headphones. All of it still there, waiting patiently for her all these months. She plugged it into her stereo. It wasn’t like a club sound system but it was all she had. The question in her mind was whether, after so much time away from DJing, she still had what it took. Could she or couldn’t she get into a groove?

She’d need some new music. Eventually. The half-dozen external drives in the cupboard held perhaps ten thousand tracks…

Friday night, dressed to kill, it was apparent Charlie was in the wrong place. Fluidity had undergone a refurb. The décor was bland, the music was bland, the clubbers were boring, the bar staff too overworked to talk. She remembered one of the door staff, he remembered her.

“Nah, your crowd doesn’t come here now. The club was bought up by a conglomerate that figured the location was being regenerated. Then they put in their standard designs. Leather, PVC and duck egg blue carpets—doesn’t quite go together, does it? But there’s a new place just opened up that does your kind of stuff. It has a name like, like…”

“Some kind of star?” It was a shot in the dark.

“Yeah, sort of. The Quasar Club.” He explained where it was. She thanked him and walked to the other side of the town centre. The side that wasn’t being regenerated, and wouldn’t be for a few years yet.

The Quasar Club was up grimy stairs. Black painted walls, scuffed wood flooring, comfortable but faded. The kind of place where the unexpected could happen. It was crowded, and she spotted a couple of trannies in the mix. Always a good sign, because they usually had discerning taste.

And the unexpected did happen. She was leaning against the bar waiting to be served and one of the bar staff spread his arms wide in a welcoming gesture.
“Hello you! Wondered where you’d gone. You disappeared after…”

“I did. But now I’m back.” She fingered the Chinese coin, wondering what kind of supernatural connection was being made here.

She stood to one side, sipping her drink, watching the crowd, listening critically to the music. Not the same choices she’d make, but close enough. She smiled when she realized her hips had been moving to the beat. Something deep and primal in her brain had just come out of hibernation.

“Are you OK?”

The words were shouted into her ear. Charlie turned to find the barman next to her, a stack of empty glasses cradled in his hands. She nodded.

“You’ve got that faraway look.”

“Just remembering what it was like, working the decks.”

Actually the barman wasn’t bad-looking. About as tall as she was in her boots, with shoulder-length hair and a lopsided smile. Not fat, not thin, muscles in all the right places. Probably a good muscle in his trousers as well. An open, friendly face, the kind it was easy to talk to.

“I remember your sets. I used to go to Fluidity. I’ll talk to the manager.”

The next time she saw him was around four in the morning, when the place was beginning to empty out. Where had the time gone? It was as though she’d been standing there in a trance all that while.

“The man, he say yes. If you’re interested, he can fit you into a late slot next week. Don’t give up the day job, though. If you have a day job?”

Charlie laughed, remembering the words she’d heard. You can be a star, nothing can stop you. And you’ll meet someone new. It’s your destiny. He’s your destiny.

“There’s an afterparty at mine, if you like,” he said.

“I’d like very much. Thank you.”

When they left half an hour later, it was hand in hand. Charlie thought she saw someone walk out of the doors just before them. As they reached the street she looked around. A tall figure stood about ten yards away. There were streetlights all along the road, but he was in his own patch of shadow that obscured his features, made them grainy like an old black-and-white movie. He looked for all the world like Ben. As she watched, he raised a hand in greeting, or perhaps valediction, and faded into the night like a TV picture that had suddenly turned pixilated.

“Did you see him…?”

“See who?” he asked her. “No, there’s no one here. And we’ll have to go round the corner to get a taxi.”

Charlie had a sudden realization. “You do know you haven’t even told me your name?”

“Oh, sorry. Desmond. Call me Des.”

“Or Destiny?” Des Tiny, she thought, breaking it down into syllables. Except he wasn’t tiny. The way his jeans were filled proved that.

His turn to laugh. “Maybe that’s what tonight is. Destiny. Mine and yours.”

She suspected her date with this well-built and well-hung Destiny would develop into something interesting. She also knew what the soundtrack would be while they were doing something interesting: Nine Inch Nails, “Closer.”

It wasn’t until the following week that Charlie remembered the PA ring. She wondered idly if it was the right size and gauge to have it put in her own flesh. Wondered if she had the nerve do get it done, decided she had. A nipple, or maybe somewhere even more private. She hadn’t removed the Chinese coin from around her neck, but the ring would be an even more intimate reminder of Ben.

Yet when she checked her purse, it wasn’t there. She never found it again.

***

If you liked this story, both Fulani and Velvet Tripp have other (and stronger/more explicit) paranormal stories published with Xcite – see the ‘Stories Available Now’ page for details of their stories in the Xcite ‘Spirit Lovers’ and ‘Lust Bites’ collections.

***

The pic used in this post is a detail from a photo taken by a friend of ours, Jon Wilson. His website isn’t online at the moment but if you like his pic and are interested in buying prints of his work we can put you in touch with him. Use the contact form on our ‘About’ page.

The Quasar Club (part I) – new paranormal erotic story

Pic courtesy of Jon Wilson

Pic courtesy of Jon Wilson

Charlie looked around and said a bad word under her breath, quietly enough that her client wouldn’t hear. She knew she shouldn’t have taken on this viewing. It was in the wrong part of town. She had too much painful history here.

The client didn’t notice. He was some hotshot investor looking to make a fast buck on the back of the recession. He was young, maybe too young to shave properly, yet balding. He had an oily and overbearing manner, and he stalked through the property as if he already owned it. It wasn’t the building he wanted, anyway; it was the parcel of land.

The property was previously a bar-restaurant, now offered for sale by the brewery with potential for redevelopment. Ground floor: entrance lobby, bar area, kitchen, main room, games room, men’s and women’s rest rooms. First floor: function room, two offices. Second floor: bedroom, bathroom, kitchen. Basement: cellarage. Outside: off-road parking, patio area, boiler room, store. Location: fronting a main road in a commercial area due for regeneration, within walking distance of the town centre. Suitable for development as commercial units.

It was those redevelopment permissions that had drawn Hotshot’s attention. It was the property backing onto the car park that had made Charlie swear. She was standing no more than twenty yards from where Beautiful Ben had died.

It was bad form to cry in front of a client. She breathed deeply, put on a professional mask, answered Hotshot’s questions as best she could. Fortunately he didn’t make much more than a token pass at her, one she could fend off by blanking him, just pretending not to hear.

Beautiful Ben. A statuesque, long-haired and slim-hipped god of the darkness, and of the decks. He’d been a lifetime ago. Literally.

Three years previously, Charlie had been making a name for herself as a DJ. An unusual occupation for a woman, certainly, but no one had ever told her women didn’t do that kind of thing. She’d always been the nerdy girl, the one who dismissed the current boybands as trash and bored her friends with discs she’d found in obscure record stores. When it came to DJing, she’d just gone ahead and done it. Built a whole persona and look around it, and then made a success of it.

She’d been a goddess of the night. Black hair, black leather, six-inch heels and a magical touch that kept the energy running and people dancing all night. It had been a rough-and-tumble, full throttle world and she’d enjoyed every minute of it. Splendidly aloof above the dancefloor, headphones around her neck and the bassline thumping in her chest, she knew every man in the club wanted her. She could have a rough tumble with anyone she picked, and she was extremely picky.

Charlie’s regular gig had been a residency at Fluidity, the club she was looking at from the old bar’s car park. Benedict had come in, at first as a visiting DJ and later with his own slot, immediately before her usual 2am stint.

It hadn’t been a quick fling. Not like the other men she’d hooked up with before he’d come along. It had been a slow burn. They ended up talking obscure tracks, tech stuff – she’d been the first at the club to DJ straight off her laptop. They got a competitive thing going, a three-and-three where she’d play three tracks, he’d play three, and between them they’d keep Fluidity on the boil, steaming hot.

Famously, she’d once found him in the DJ booth with a skinny blonde on her knees, her lips wrapped around his cock. Equally famously, she’d grabbed a microphone and added the characteristic glup glup sound of oral sex into the mix. She knew he slept with other women; he knew she slept with other men. It was a working relationship for a month before it was a friendship. It was a friendship before it was a sexual bond. They were legend, king and queen of the dance, even before they ever got into bed together. Though the first time they had sex was nowhere near a bed.

The club had finished at four. On a whim they’d turned down an invitation to an afterparty at someone’s house. Instead she’d driven them, an hour and a half out of town, to rolling hills and a crag looking out over the sunrise. She’d wanted to feel the wind and the openness of it. It was there that she decided she not only couldn’t keep her hands off him, but wanted to feel him inside her. It was there she discovered for the first time that he had a Prince Albert piercing. It was a novelty for her, and very moreish. Afterwards they’d found some roadside mom-and-pop café, had coffee with hash browns and bacon. They’d looked hugely out of place, black leather and tribal hair among the lumberjack shirts, and been amused at the way the locals seemed to think they were exotic creatures from another planet. Which, in a way, they were.

And then eight months after they’d met, a couple of months into their being an item, it all came crashing down around her. Her car was being serviced, they’d shared a taxi back from the club. A drunk, drugged kid had tried to run a set of lights at sixty and slammed his hot hatch into them. It was stolen, he’d already lost his license. She’d spent three days in a coma, waking up to the news that her Beautiful Ben had been DOA at the hospital.

She walked away from the club scene. Started a new life. Nine to five, with the real estate agents. Kept herself to herself, didn’t answer the phone, cried in the evenings. She was still surrounded by little things that reminded her of Beautiful Ben. The thin leather thong with the Chinese coin he used to wear around his neck. He’d forgotten to put it back on after showering at her flat, and it was still on the bathroom window ledge. The wax on the living room carpet, where they’d made love in a circle of candles and one had dripped. She’d never cleaned it up.

Hotshot said something about letting her know what he decided. He climbed into his Merc and disappeared into the river of light that was the evening rush hour traffic. At this time of year dusk came early. And Charlie finally let herself give in to her private grief. Wiping tears from her face, she approached Fluidity. From this direction there were the remains of a low brick wall, then the side access that ran to the club’s stage door. She stepped over the brickwork, stood in the shadows beside a row of dumpsters.

A breath of wind came out of nowhere, tousling her hair. It was like a fond greeting. She tossed her head, looked around in surprise. Cars passed twenty yards away, on the main road. But there was no one around her.

“Hello, lover. I’ve been waiting for you here, hoping you’d show.”

Charlie jumped in surprise, then froze in fear. There was no one around and yet the voice was clear and low. She knew exactly whose it was. Maybe this was the moment she’d been most dreading. The moment when the voice in her head became real and she knew her sanity had departed.

The sense of pressure, something like a hand, trailing down her arm. “You’re wearing a business suit? What’s that about? You didn’t… Oh, you did. You gave up on your music.”

Arms enfolded her. Arms Charlie couldn’t see. She would have staggered, backed away, but they held her tight. Not in a bad way. Like a hug. Like a hug where fingers lightly pinched her nipples, making them pert and hard the way Ben used to. Her lips parted in a half-gasp. Despite everything, despite doubting her own senses and reason, the feeling was hot.

The way it always had been with Ben.

A soft chuckle sounded in her ear. “Gotcha. You always liked that, didn’t you!”

The hands moved, roaming up and down Charlie’s body. Impossibly, they felt like they were under her clothes, on her skin. It was intense enough, scary enough, that she had to reach out for support. Her hand found a rough edge of brickwork and she clung to it like a drunk holding on to a bottle. When she closed her eyes, she could see Ben’s face. Long and thin, a ring in his nose, crinkles around the eyes and permanent creases from smiling.

“I’ve waited a long time. But I think you have too. Grief, anger, despair— it’s time to move on, girl. You can’t live life in the shadows, you’re too good for that.”

The hands were on her thighs now, stroking gently with fingernails the way he used to do it. The way she somehow wanted it… Whatever was happening to her, she couldn’t deny it was making her moist and needy. It was real, more real than any fantasy or vibrator she’d ever had.

Charlie bit her lip, trying not to cry out. Who knew whether people were walking by on the street?

She planted her feet that little bit further apart, feeling the tight fabric of the work skirt against her thighs and even then the fingers were somehow inside it, running over her ass, low in her belly. She felt the twitch and flutter of excitement there, the moment Ben would feel too and then he’d…

He’d gently part the folds of her labia, using his tongue, exposing her, making her impossibly wet and greedy. And only then would he begin to fill her sodden cleft and its demands. She was wearing a black lace-trimmed thong—but the way her pussy reacted to the stimulus, she might as well have been wearing nothing at all. It felt like an actual, physical cock entering her, filling her up, hot, yet with the metallic coolness of his PA ring. It felt like the moment on a roller coaster ride when the train starts to move, and there’s no way to stop it or get off.

“This is for old times’ sake. Then I should let you go. You should let me go, too.”

Ben had been six foot three. With body parts all in proportion to his height. Even in her trademark six-inch clubbing heels, he’d had four inches on her. In bed, he’d had ten inches in her. And right now it felt like twenty of those ten inches were moving inside her, as if his cock was occupying the whole of her body, as if each stroke was lifting her up on tiptoe and taking her whole body weight. The sensation was old and familiar, but new and thrilling. It was strange in a literally out-of-this-world way, yet exciting and comforting. It was…

It was overpowering. Charlie just stopped thinking and stayed in the moment, grinding her hips against an unseen body. Nothing else mattered now. Everything was instinct, the tornado whirling inside her body, sucking up pleasure and concentrating it to a tiny spark-like point…

…that burst into a whirling constellation of tiny hot suns up and down her body, along her arms and legs, in her head, a direct connection from pussy to brain that blocked out everything except the vision, behind closed eyelids, of Ben’s face, his smile, and the feral effort of the fuck.

The brain-pussy connection built like noise, a bass beat shaking her and taking her higher until she was the tornado, the whirling sun, the wild animal, the beat itself. She opened her mouth and let out a wild howl. Ready or not, she was going to come.

At that moment the voice in her hear told her, “Remember, you’re a star. You can be a star, nothing can stop you. And you’ll meet someone new. It’s your destiny. He’s your destiny. And I wish you well.”

Part II published tomorrow (29 December).

***

The pic used in this post was supplied by a friend of ours, Jon Wilson. His website isn’t online at the moment but if you like his pic and are interested in buying prints of his work we can put you in touch with him. Use the contact form on our ‘About’ page.

***

If you like this story, both Fulani and Velvet Tripp have other (and stronger/more explicit) paranormal stories published with Xcite, including –

  • ‘The Incubus Candle’, by Fulani, in Spirit Lovers collection. Xcite Books
  • ‘Mad, Bad and Dangerous to Know’, by Fulani and ‘Tooth Fairy’, by Velvet Tripp, in Lust Bites collection. Xcite Books
  • See the ‘Stories Available Now’ page for details of other stories including Fulani’s novel, The Secret Circus of Pain and Degradation.

    Happy Christmas – and post-Christmas fetish activities!

    Image!

    Image courtesy of Jon Wilson


    Christmas is often a time for family. A lot of people who are into fetish find themselves occupied – like everyone else – with the round of present-buying, decorating, cooking, entertaining, and religious services (if they’re so inclined).
    If that describes you, have a good Christmas!
    There are some people whose festivities are entirely fetish-orientated because they’re in that kind of relationship and have those kinds of friends.
    If that describes you, have a good Christmas!
    And there are those who for one reason or another are spending Christmas alone. Both Velvet and Fulani have experienced that several times, before they met. If you’re in that situation, we are the living proof that the best thing to do is relax, be comfortable with yourself, and trust that good things will happen in the future – because when you’re relaxed and happy good things do tend to happen. Trust us, and have a good Christmas!
    Whichever category you fall into, by the day after Boxing Day the fetishless life may have grown a bit tedious. If you want to know where you can go and what to do, there are a couple of useful websites that will tell you. One is Informed Consent, which is a UK based site. The other is Fetlife, which is international but with the US heavily represented.
    Both are membership-only but free to join, and you can quickly set up profiles on them. IC has probably the most comprehensive UK events listing and Fetlife has listings across the US, the UK and Europe – if not quite as thoughtfully organised. Both sites cover club events and munches (‘vanilla’ meetings in pubs or bars where everyone looks normal-ish and there’s conversation but no play).
    Many munches and club nights also have their own Google Groups or Yahoo Groups pages, though you may have to hunt a bit to find them.
    If you haven’t been to a particular munch before, remember it’s good form to contact the organiser first to let them know you’re coming. Many will be happy to arrange a ‘meeter and greeter’ for new attendees as well, to make sure you feel comfortable.
    Here’s hoping you can relax and enjoy the festivities, and then find good things to do once you’re Christmassed-out!

    ***

    The pic used in this post was supplied by a friend of ours, Jon Wilson. His website isn’t online at the moment but if you like his pic and are interested in buying prints of his work we can put you in touch with him. Use the contact form on our ‘About’ page.

    Shar’s new story

    This is just a heads up that a friend of ours, Sharazade, has a short story that will appear on December 27th at Every Night Erotica. Congratulations, Shar! Go read her stuff, and enjoy…
    If you follow the link above to her name you’ll also discover she has a very fine collection of short stories out with Fannypress.

    Ten things a sub doesn’t want to hear when they’re tied up…

    The weather here is minus something or other and more snow forecast, plus chaos on the roads. But if you’re stuck at home and snowed in, at least we can entertain you with a few bdsm-related jokes!

    Ten things a sub doesn’t want to hear when they’re tied up…
    #1 You won’t need a safeword. The voices in my head will tell me when you’ve had enough.
    #2 Safeword? What’s a safeword?
    #3 [Key turning in lock] Shit! My parents said they wouldn’t be back until tomorrow!
    #4 Oh mighty Abaddon, please accept this my sacrifice to you!
    #5 Damn, I forgot my medication. Never mind, I’m sure I’ll be fine.
    #6 You know, I could have sworn I put my pet snake back in its tank.
    #7 You know, my last sub didn’t understand me… That reminds me, I missed my appointment with the probation officer.
    #8 No, really. When I saw this in the movie it worked fine!
    #9 [Telephone rings] Hello? Yes, no problem, why don’t you all just come on over!
    #10 Um, if this is the tube of KY, what did I just put on your…?

    Enjoy!
    We couldn’t find any appropriate pics but if we do, we’ll post them later!

    PS Fulani has a few more at fulanismut.blogspot.com.

    Bondage – Why do People do it? Plus safety tips.

    Have you ever wondered why people allow themselves to be tied up, dominated by another person, male or female? Is it something that you’d like to try or appeals to you but you’re too scared to give it a go? Or maybe you think that anyone who does do this must be mad.

    Fulani and I have been asked many times ‘what’s it like to be trussed up like that?’ and ‘why do you like it?’ The answers aren’t simple, and won’t be the same of course for everyone. But for me the whole thing started with simple curiosity and a tendency to like the strange and different. I went to a fetish ball, met some friendly people who invited me to another event, and after going to several and seeing Fulani tie other people up while taking great care over their safety decided to ‘have a go.’ Yes, right there in the club. The advantage to this was that I asked the friend I’d attendedwith to keep an eye on me, so I felt very safe.

    The result was unexpected and the start of some new fun in my life. I found myself relaxing and eventually zoning out while trussed up. The feel of the rope around you is not only quite sexy but quite comforting. I feel secure, safe and totally not in control. Of course, you can only feel safe and not in control when the person who is doing the bondage can be trusted. Obviously Fulani and I got on really well, and met up again many times at events. Eventually I felt safe enough with him to start seeing him in private. Now we are a couple.

    If bondage is something you’d like to try, I’d recommend going to a fetish club initially. There are some very good ‘doms’ and some who think they are good but aren’t. Take your time to get to know people. Make friends. Watch how they play with other people. If you fancy playing with someone, it may be a good idea to ask the ‘dungeon monitor’ who is likely to know many of the people at the event. Tell them you’re new. Tell them you’re inexperienced. Don’t be shy. One of the best way to make sure you are safe is to lay your cards on the table and take advice from more experienced people. I’ve found that there is always someone at these events who is willing to help a newcomer. Use your instinct, too. I avoided one man like the plague at three separate events, only to find out he is not the best at respecting a subs wishes, so was right to avoid him.

    Always remember that the sensation or feeling of being out of control is not the same as actually being out of control. YOU, as the sub, are in charge. YOU say when it all stops or when you are released if you’re bound. The dom only controls you for as long as you let them. Ultimately, this play is about power exchange. You give the control over to your dom, complete with an understanding of your limits, and he/she gets to behave as if they own you for a while, hopefully giving YOU a good time. He gets his enjoyment out of being control of you.

    So if you are thinking of giving something new a try, just do it in a safe environment and don’t be afraid to speak out if you don’t like it. This is not a situation to keep quiet and end up feeling abused. Clear communication is paramount in fetish. Only you can decide what’s right for you. A good dom will listen and act on your feelings.

    New Fulani short story at Oysters and Chocolate from tomorrow

    Just a quick announcement that Fulani’s short story “Relieving the Stress” will go live on Oysters and Chocolate online magazine this Friday, December 17th. So it’s a free read, probably in their “Liquorice Whips” story category (aka sensual BDSM).

    Enjoy!

    Unkle Fulani’s problem page…no.1…to make you smile!

    Q: why have all my socks gone missing?

    You have an infestation of sock goblins.

    What on earth are they?

    Goblins, sometimes also known as knockers, trows, bogles, or wichtlein, are native to Northern Europe. They are natural pranksters who enjoy disarranging your home thus ensuring you can’t find things. However, they are also sock fetishists and have very likely stolen your socks for their own sexual gratification.

    But I don’t believe in goblins

    Some of us don’t believe in the Inland Revenue but it doesn’t make taxes go away. The goblins don’t care whether you believe in them or not. In fact, your not believing in them makes it easier for them to live in your house and carry out their fetishistic activities.

    What do you mean, they’re sock fetishists?

    They enjoy the form and style of socks, also the feel of them against their rough skin, and are known to experience heightened sexual response to unwashed socks especially, which they sniff. Should you find socks that contain either viscous or dried mustard-coloured fluids, unfortunately these will have been left inadvertently in your house following onanistic practices. The fluids are however acidic and very likely the only evidence you’ll find will be a single unwashed sock, with a hole it in, possibly stuffed under your sofa or behind the TV set.

    Socks that are particularly attractive to goblins are women’s sports socks though there have recently been reports of long, gothic-style purple and black striped over-the-knee socks going missing.

    How come I never see the goblins?

    Goblins generally are about 30cm high, dark, hairy, ugly and given to wearing dark colours – black and grey. You may occasionally see an unwary one out of the corner of your eye, but they can move very fast, ensuring that even though they may be literally just behind you, they can scamper around you as you turn. They are also able to squeeze into tight spaces, such as between the cushions on the sofa.

    Are they all sock fetishists?

    There are a few panty and bra goblins (they tend to prefer silky G-strings for the concentration of scent on  narrow band of material), and increasingly we have come across evidence of goblins exhibiting a preference for leather, rubber or PVC in any form. The claim that there are now porno DVD goblins is still being debated because there is only limited evidence they have learned to operate electrical equipment. Basically they have followed our industrialised way of life and now exhibit a high degree of differentiation and specialisation. They are however quite a different species to gremlins, which prefer office environments and like sitting on photocopiers while they are operating.

    Do they do anything else with my socks?

    There is no definitive answer as yet. Some sources believe they simply hoard them in order to gain repeated sexual excitement. They may for example regard sniffing a set of three or four socks from different owners in the same way that you or I would appreciate a three or four course meal.

    Others believe they eventually trade the socks for other articles such as clothes hangers. Some faethropologists claim goblins use clothes hangers for more dangerous sexual practices. There is also a market for socks among elves, who use the fibres of pre-worn clothing items to weave spells into their wall hangings and tapestries. There is as yet no evidence to support the trading of socks for clothes hangers, though it is possible a quite complex eco-system, or economy operates in which the elves obtain socks to make their spell-tapestries, which they sell to dry cleaning trolls in exchange for clothes hangers. They would thus make a profit from both the goblins and the trolls. This has not been empirically proven, however.

    Are the goblins dangerous?

    Although historically they have been known to weave nightmares from gossamer and place them in the ears of people while they were sleeping, modern life produces nightmares far worse that those goblins are able to make. You are unlikely to experience significant additional risk from exposure to goblins. Indeed, depending on your own sexual preferences you may find them stimulating.

    How can I get rid of goblins?

    There are two methods. First try bribing them by leaving out vodka, food and pornographic magazines or DVDs and they may leave your socks alone. If this doesn’t work, buy a dozen pairs of new socks, wear them consistently for several days and then place them overnight in the washing machine with the door open. About 10 minutes before dawn slam the door and start the wash cycle. Any goblins trapped with the socks will be flushed away, though the socks may be unwearable after such treatment. Repeat as necessary until your problem is solved.

    Won’t this damage my washing machine? I’ve heard goblins can be as strong as people.

    Their strength rapidly dissolves in water, especially with detergent added.

    Can they breed?

    Apparently so, but we don’t know how this happens since only male specimens are ever found. Socks may form a crucial if unexplained part of their mating rituals.

    Unkle Fulani’s problem page… no.2

    Q: I’ve solved the goblin problem but now my washing machine is eating my socks. Why is this?